Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence, Recognizing signs, Types and How to take Action. 

-Ezenwa Lilian Oluchi
 

Introduction:

Imagine living in a home where fear and danger are constant companions, where the people who should care for you become sources of pain. This pain reality is domestic violence, and it's an experience that can be overwhelming, especially for everyone. It is obvious that some people think domestic abuse is only when your partner lay hands on you or even uses an object on you, but then, it is not only that. I have heard someone who talked to me in a manner that caused me great pain,  It's important to understand that domestic violence comes in various forms, such as physical, emotional, sexual, or financial abuse, and none of it is ever acceptable or your fault, no matter the circumstances.

For some people, this might hit close to home. Perhaps you've witnessed the heartbreaking struggle of a mother enduring abuse from a partner, or you know a friend who's going through a similar ordeal. One of our readers shared, "Growing up, I saw my mother suffer silently, taking a share of hot slap by my father almost every night over flimsy arguments. It was painful to watch, but I didn't know how to help." The truth is that some of these victims may choose to remain in the relationship because of what they are gaining, it could be material things, or the partner who abuses them lifts them from financial bondage which makes them stay. Some say because they have been in this relationship for too long, therefore they will keep praying for their abuser to change while some mothers choose to stay because of the children. 

In this section, we will explore the harsh reality of domestic violence,  recognize the signs, the different types and provide guidance on how to effectively deal with it. Your safety and well-being are of utmost importance, and there are steps you can take to protect yourself and those around you.

Recognizing the Signs:

Being aware of the signs is crucial in identifying domestic violence. Physical abuse, such as hitting, slapping, or any form of harm, is an obvious red flag. But emotional abuse, as another reader pointed out, "can be more subtle yet equally damaging." It includes verbal attacks, isolation, constant criticism, and controlling behavior. Sexual abuse involves non-consensual or forced acts, while financial abuse restricts access to money and independence.

Different Types of Domestic Violence

Physical abuse:

When it comes to domestic abuse, the first thing that comes to a lot of people’s minds is this form of abuse because it is difficult to disguise. Physical abuse is the use of physical force against another. Example of physical abuse includes; pushing, slapping, strangling, kicking, punching, beating a partner with objects and so on.

Emotional abuse:

Sometimes emotional abuse is not seen because there are no injuries or wounds. It comes in the form of words and humiliations. Many do not always regard this as abuse but in reality, emotional abuse can cause damage to a person's self-esteem. There is this saying, wounds can heal, but hurtful words may last in the mind forever. One of my readers shared with me how the husband always uses her predicaments to abuse her. The young man changed from calling her ‘‘sweetheart’’ to ‘‘barren woman’’ always reminding her of how useless she has been since they got married. Examples of emotional abuse include; humiliation of partner in private and in public, criticizing and calling names, regularly threatening to leave or being told to leave, and refusing your partner to socialize with their friends and family.

Sexual abuse:

This type of abuse is always difficult to identify. Women go through this type of abuse more according to researchers. Examples of sexual abuse include; Insisting on or threatening you into unwanted sexual contact, making you feel guilty about not wanting to participate in sexual activity, forcing or threatening you into a particular sexual style, forcing you to watch pornography, forcing sex when you’re unable to say no, such as when you’re asleep or intoxicated.

Taking Action:

Recognizing and addressing domestic violence requires courage and support. "I used to think it was normal, but it's not," shared one of our readers. Here are some steps you can take to protect yourself or someone you know: 

a) Recognize that it's not the victim's fault: It's essential to understand that no one deserves to be abused and that seeking help is not a sign of weakness.

 b) Document incidents: Keeping a record can be helpful for legal purposes and safeguarding evidence.

 c) Reach out for support: Talk to someone you trust, whether it's a friend, family member, or counselor. "Opening up was tough, but it lifted a weight off my shoulders," shared one of our readers.

 d) Create a safety plan: Developing a plan for emergencies can help you or someone you know escape dangerous situations.

 e) Seek professional help: Domestic violence helplines, shelters, and organizations are equipped to offer guidance, resources, and a safe space for those facing domestic violence.

Conclusion:

Domestic violence is a devastating reality that affects many individuals, young and old. We need not keep quiet when abused, breaking the silence is the first step to freedom. Remember that domestic abuse can lead to physical deformation and even death in the worst cases.